The Motherhood No One Talks About

What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom

Motherhood is beautiful—but it’s also layered, messy, and full of surprises. Between the Instagram highlights and hospital checklists, there’s a quieter side of motherhood that doesn’t always make it into baby books or birth prep classes.

Here’s what I wish more women were told—before the due date, before the first diaper, and before the identity shift of becoming “mom.”

1. You might miss your old self—and that’s okay.

No one prepares you for the identity grief. You can love your baby deeply and still mourn who you were before them.

It doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.

Give yourself space to reconnect slowly—with hobbies, your partner, or even your skincare routine.

2. The “fourth trimester” is real.

Your body is still healing. Your hormones are shifting. Your mind is catching up with the life change. The first 12 weeks after birth are an extension of pregnancy—just in a much louder, less-rested form.

3. Breastfeeding isn’t always intuitive.

Latch struggles. Oversupply. Pain. Under-supply. Leaks. No one tells you how many tears come before milk sometimes. Whether you breastfeed for 1 day or 1 year, you’re still feeding your baby with love.

4. You’ll feel “touched out.”

After constant nursing, rocking, holding—it’s common to feel like your body isn’t your own. And that can make even a loving hug from your partner feel like too much.

It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means you need space to reset.